Meditation: How can doing nothing be so hard?

My first attempt at meditation had everything going for it; time, environment, and mindset. What happens next just goes to show just how difficult it is to do nothing, which should be the easiest thing in the world. Picture this, sitting outside on a nice soft mat, next to a pool, on a beautiful summer morning. You're thinking, a simple meditation session will be an easy and relaxing way start to your upcoming hectic day. I mean, how hard could it be?

Well, karma's a bitch and she showed me in spades what a noob I am in terms of the meditational arts, and why doing nothing can be difficult.

But first a little background on how I ended up here. This whole personal growth journey I started just felt very necessary, as I needed something grounding to help balance the chaos that has crept into my life. Given the number of balls that I've been juggling lately, I just felt an utter lack of focus, which leads to being physically and emotionally overwhelmed at times. After listening to a couple of rather profound podcasts, I latched onto the idea of meditation as something which could add value to my life with just a small time investment. Besides, it's practically the same as doing nothing for a short period of time, easy bonus points!

So back to my first foray into meditation. The stage was set. I had my spot next to the pool, I was feeling relaxed and, dare I say, a bit Zen. My phone was set to make sure I didn't spend too much time in relaxation mode, not knowing that I'd end up turning it off early. The first minutes went by easily as I focused on my breathing, hearing nothing but the wind and birds quietly in the background. I could feel myself relaxing, and melting into the moment. Then the first sign of trouble appeared, a dull ache in my lower back.

So, if you haven't had the pleasure of working behind a desk for twenty plus years, then you've really missed out on screwing up your body in amazing ways. It seems that one thing they don't teach you in school is that prolonged sitting causes your hamstrings to shorten ever so slightly, especially when done over a period of years. This shortening will pull your hips slightly out of rotational alignment at times when you need them to be straight. Times like standing for long periods, or sitting on the floor, legs crossed, attempting to force a good postural position on a system of muscles and ligaments that just don't want to play along for more than a few minutes.

The dull ache starts to grow into a slow burn, as I struggle to sit up straight. I make a mental note that I need to do some soft tissue work in addition to hitting the weights at the gym. My focus is now wavering, but I still feel like I can continue. Then I notice the slightly obnoxious hum of the neighbor's lawn mower.  This typically wouldn't be much of an issue, but I made an association with the previous night as the same neighbor behind me had been mowing then as well. I was taking a swim in the pool and just chilling when the mower started up, chewing up branches and detritus in his lawn for what seemed like forever. He had a good sized lawn, but was using a tiny push mower, and being an older retiree, moved at a more leisurely pace. Let's just say I was annoyed and triggered, and ended up going inside to escape the auditory assault. So here he is the next morning, bright and early, finishing the job.

The pain in my back is intensifying as I find myself trying to shift around into any position to attempt to alleviate it, and it digs into what little focus I had left, which is now under assault by the sound of sticks and grass being chopped into little bits... slowly...

Still I'm thinking to myself ... possibly still salvageable. But like I said, karma is a bitch and she wasn't done making her point yet. The next thing I hear is from just inside the house, from the window, with both my wife and daughter audibly snickering. Whatever focus I had is now gone as I watch the ripples in the pool and attempt to shut out the world, who is so rudely tapping on my little bubble. The next thing I know, out pops the family, with comments like, "Are you doing yoga?" "You have really bad posture?" "Are we bugging you?" "I took some photos of him!"  I just love being their little amusement side show, and at that point I was just done, and only seven minutes in. I shake my head, as I gather my things before it get covered in sunscreen as my wife sprays down my daughter before she heads to the beach. The look of failure evident on my face...

I now understand just how far I have to go in this journey. Meditation isn't about controlling your thoughts, but about observing them with a relaxed and focused mind. Still not sure I can come to find my inner peace when it comes to a lawnmower, but I'll certainly give it a shot.